smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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