I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
