Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
