Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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