what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
