i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Couch. On fire.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
