Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
