So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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