Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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