I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
