He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
