You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
it's like iHOP with fire
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize