You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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