she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
