we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
