I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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