Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
