My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
