I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
