I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
