My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
