I never want to see another naked old woman again.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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