she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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