Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize