I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
