Its about making memories worth repressing
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
