we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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