So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
