Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
