you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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