real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize