Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think I died a long time ago.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
