I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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