Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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