i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
