She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
