I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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