I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
