it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You were trust falling into bushes
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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