rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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