i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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