Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
