I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize