I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
