am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize