38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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