actually, I'm a sock model
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
