I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize