Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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