Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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