im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
