Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
