Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
