Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
