The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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