all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
