question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
