I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
